Don't read chapter 31 first.

I decided to participate in a bible study on the book of Proverbs.  The book of wisdom.  I’m not sure what I expected. Hopefully by the time I read to chapter 31, I'd  have what it takes to be a Proverbs 31 woman. This was my plan.

I silently detested Proverbs for the very reason of chapter of 31. Especially when you start at the back of the book and expect to know all the answers. I put pressure on myself to be this perfect wife, mom, sister and friend. 

It’s like deciding to run a marathon and expect to finish with a personal best when all you did to prepare was to sign up for the marathon. You didn’t prepare. Why would I expect to do well?

I’m also that person who will start reading a novel, and as soon as it gets too suspenseful I flip to the end and read the last chapter.  I need to make sure it’s all going to work out.  If the main character in the book dies or is mysteriously gone, I’m done.  I won’t finish the book.  What is wrong with me?!

I’m not into suspense in any shape or form.  Watching basketball or football on “mute” is a blessing.(not so much for my husband)  If the score gets within one point with seconds left, I casually get up and start some laundry or get a drink of water. Re reading this, I laughed at the word "casually". It's more like I jump up and run to the laundry room!  Too much suspense!  I don't need to stress over a game.

Oh, and YES, I do want to know how a movie ends.  It’s not a spoiler for me, it will save me multiple trips to the concession stand and to the bathroom. * This is why I get the refillable popcorn tub.  It’s not pretty friends, but it is true. 

Back to my study of Proverbs.  I learned more about myself than I expected in this study.  Not that I’m overflowing with wisdom.  Quite the opposite, which was a big fear of mine. 

Here are some highlights.

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

 fools despise wisdom and discipline. “

Proverbs 2:6 “For the Lord gives wisdom;

for his mouth comes knowledge and understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust the Lord with all your heart, 

and do not rely on your own understand, 

in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 4:7 Wisdom is supreme, so get wisdom.  

And whatever else you get, get understanding.

Proverbs 8:11 Wisdom is better than jewels,

And nothing desirable can equal it.

Proverbs 9:10  The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord;

The knowledge of the holy one is understanding.

Proverbs 11:14 Without guidance, a people will fall,

But there is victory with many councilors.

Proverbs 12:1 Those who love discipline love knowledge, and

Those who hate correction are stupid.

Proverbs 14:29  A patient person shows great understanding,

But a quick- tempered person promotes foolishness.

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower,

The righteous run to it and are protected.

Proverbs 19:17 Kindness to the poor is a loan to the Lord and

He will give a reward to the lender.

Proverbs 20:22 Don’t say, I will avenge this evil.  Wait on the Lord

And He will rescue you.

Proverbs 21:23 The one who guards his mouth and tongue

Keeps himself out of trouble.

Proverbs 22:1 A good name is to be chosen over great wealth;

Favor is better than silver and gold.

Proverbs 25:15 A ruler can be persuaded through patienceand

A gentle tongue can break a bone.

Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; 

Without gossip, conflict dies down.

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron and one

Person sharpens another.

Proverbs 28:6 Better the poor person who lives with integrity

Than the rich one who distorts right and wrong.

Proverbs 29:18 Without revelation people run wild,

But one who follows divine instruction

Will be happy.

Proverbs 30:5  Every wordof God is pure;

He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,

But a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Proverbs is not a book you can read, snap your fingers and be wise.  That would be really awesome if you could. While reading the last chapter can be defeating for women, it's also good to know this is all a process.  I'm far from perfect and I can be my own worst critic. So, knowing it's all a process, is like a deep breath of fresh air. 

I'm in the "process" of letting my hair go natural, which is not a crown of gray, it's more like a sheet of WHITE!  Lord don't let me resemble Cruella Deville or Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.  Note:  Stay away from buns when your hair is gray.  No paisley dresses with stockings rolled up over your knees with orthopedic shoes. I'm in my 50's not 90's.  This is an example of "earthly wisdom" or "fashion sense".  Either way, it's an opinion. 

Earthly wisdom is everywhere. Social media is full of  "wisdom".   If it seems wise to you, then it must be wise to all. Oh. Good. Grief.  Get a brain folks. (That last sentence wasn't wise for me to type.  Not everything true is wise.)

True wisdom comes from God. 

That’s all. If you are a child of God, he has wisdom waiting for you, just ask.  Sounds simple, I know.  I’ve asked, (a lot) and I’ve done some unwise things, and said some even more unwise things.  I apologize to those who were recipients of any of my unwise decisions and rants.

I’ve learned that I have to ask daily for wisdom, and to close my mouth.  Better to be thought wise and be silent, then to open your mouth and confirm a fool.  I think that is a paraphrase of something biblical. 

My take away from Proverbs is:  

Read my Bible. Listen to God. Process.  

Trust.  Process some more. Trust continually.  

Think, and then Speak (if necessary) 

Wednesday was the first day of Lent. (which I missed. I’m always a day late) If I could give up anything, it would be my voice.  That bird won’t fly. But, I am going to try to give up speaking the first thing that jumps into my mind. 

Now, if you know me, this is not going to be easy.  No, really.  This will NOT be easy.  It's going to be right up there with the crossing of the Red Sea and feeding the five thousand. 

Will I fail?  Yes.  

Will I try again? 

Yes.
This will probably be on "repeat" throughout the entire Lent season.  

I can imagine there will be a heavenly host watching with their tub of popcorn to see how long I'll last. 

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and right now I'm needing a double dose. 

If you actually read all this and endured the Cliff Note version of my Bible study, bless you. You were indeed hopeful of something wise. All you got, was an imperfect person searching like you. Keep searching and reading God’s word. I am.  

Moving Forward to Good Health vs. Flatlining

I try to eat healthy 90% of the time. The 10% is reserved for the bite of dessert shared with my husband, or the cupcake from our grandsons’ birthday.  Nothing crazy, only a little reward I leave room for myself. 

Eating healthy wasn’t something I woke up one day and decided to do.  Actually, I’ve had several people tell me how much my life would benefit if I ate healthy foods.

Those people can be annoying.  Who wants to hear that they should eat healthy while sitting with a Hawaiian burger and homemade chips in front of them with a coke a cola  in glass.  I’ll leave out the fact I hid the huge slice of key lime pie to the side.

No one wants to hear that. Why?  

It’s the feeling of judgement. Guilt.

It’s a decision one has to make on their own.  I decided a few years ago I wanted to begin researching the benefits of eating healthy vs. eating what I wanted.

Plus, to be completely honest, I had reached a weight that was my “never go there weight”.  One morning, the scales had the nerve to edge over “that” number by one. It was a dare.  It crossed the line I had drawn in the sand, and that line was suffocating my waistline. 

It was my cross roads.  Am I going to continue to eat foods that make me happy for the moment, or am I going to start standing up for my health, and change my eating habits? 

It didn’t happen overnight.  But, what did happen overnight, was Amazon.  Yes, my love hate relationship with Amazon.  I jumped on Amazon and ordered enough healthy eating books to keep my nose occupied for years. 

My take away from the many books I read:  

Healthy whole foods can actually heal your body. What?  Yes, it’s true.  Sugar feeds cancer and other illness.  The last thing I want to do is feed any cancer.

I thought to myself, if I were ever diagnosed with caner, I’d never eat sugar again.  Then I realized how stupid that sounded.  Why wait and get cancer before I begin fighting it?  So, I’m fighting the war now. 

Certain foods can cause inflammationin your body.  I started noticing this first hand.  I thought it was nothing more than getting “older” and that I would have to live with the aches and pains in my joints. I read up on foods that aided to my pain, removed them from my diet and then began eating more and more foods that help repair inflammation.  Blueberries for the win!  

Process foods are not good for you. EVER.  Have you ever read a label and wondered what in the world all those words were? Uh, me too.  Ok, if you have never read a label, it’s time. One word I learned on reading labels was “maltodextrin”.  It is placed in so many foods.  I call it my scam word.  It is slipped in foods to make you crave that food more.  What a great marketing ploy!  Great marketing bad for my waistline though. 

Quinoa is actually good.  It’s a power food. (if you don’t know what quinoa is, join the club of most of Americans.) It tastes like whatever I put it with.

I also learned that some Whole Food Plant Based people are nuts. They try to put a political agenda to their crusade of eating healthy.  I don’t have time for that.    But,what I do have time for, are the people who genuinely want you to be healthy. They give practical advice and suggestions on how to begin eating healthy and they give you permission to mess up and start again.  It’s called grace. 

Here is a list from my Amazon purchase history of books that have helped me.  

How Not To Die- by Michael Greger, MD

Sugar Nation – by Jeff O’Connell

Eat to Live – Joel Fuhrman, MD

The Forks over Knives Plan-A 4-Week Meal-by-Meal Makeover –Pulde, MD & Lederman, MD.  ** This is my favorite. **

The Fork over Knives Cookbook is really good too!!  

Good Luck to a healthier you. Even if a healthier you means, one less coke a day, or one healthy meal a day.  It’s all about moving forward, not flat lining.

This was a yummy whole food plant based dish.  Organic rice pasta, corn, black beans, onion, bell pepper, cilantro ,lemon dressing, squeeze lime, tomatoes, a bunch of spice stuff that I through in there. 

I don't cook all  WFPB meals.  I try to cook at least one a day if not more.  Breakfast and lunch are fairly easy.  Dinner is my weakness.  

www.ForksOverKnives.com

Campfire conversations with God

Let me set the stage:  Introduction

I attend North Ridge Church in the greater Asheboro area in North Carolina.  I love my church. Our church motto:

Love God, Love People, Live on Mission.  

Our church does an exceptional job teaching the congregations how to achieve this goal.  
In the past few weeks our pastor has covered a series called The Hard Sayings of Jesus.
This sermon series has hit me to the core. It didn't leave me with that warm fuzzy feeling you get when listening to a radio/tv preacher who tells you what "you want to hear".  This series caused me to rethink, examine, and pray about my relationship with Christ. 
( www.northridgenow.org)  Do not Judge and Depart From Me I Never Knew You are a must to listen to if you consider yourself a christian. It's life changing.  True Story.

Stage set. Scene One

I have struggled most my christian life trying to be "good-enough" for God. Working my tail off to be the best christian I could be. I tried to read my bible more, sign up for the newest bible study, I read all the books and blogs on how to be a great christian, I listened to praise music in my car with my windows down, no doubt.  I wanted God to be proud of me.  (Notice how many times I typed the word..."I"?)  Case and Point: the "I" Problem

This "working to be good enough" for God is not an easy habit to break. When you spend over 40 plus years doing something the "wrong" way, it takes some time, a conscience effort and a sincere prayer for change. 

Scene Two:

I've heard that God wants a relationship with me. I thought, ok, that's good.  I have one.  Then I started evaluating our "relationship".  Was it  a surface relationship, or was it a "hey, I know you, high-five, I read my 1 min. devotion today, as I pass on to something else"? Or was my relationship a 911 call filled with drama I created for myself? Then there is the superficial plastic churchy relationship full of judgmental thoughts of those heathens who didn't have a fancy prayer journal like me?  I don't like those kind of people, I don't want to be that person. 

Change the Scenery:

The stage is set:  Dark starry night, full moon, cool crisp fall air, campfire, two camp chairs. Hot chocolate with melted marshmallows.

Scene Three:

I close my eyes and take a deep breath and breathe in the cool autumn air and the smell of the campfire burning.  I take a sip of my hot chocolate and lick the marshmallow off my upper lip.  As I snuggle down into my chair, I glance over at the other chair.  It's just me and God.  No TV, iPhone, music, kids, e-mails, or laundry to rush off to.

  Just us. 

I've heard it said,to "rest with God".  This must be what it's like, resting with God.
At a campsite you don't have to pretend to be something you are not.  We look around at the beauty He made, as He twinkles the stars a little brighter so that I can see the owl in the trees and the bats flying overhead as they snack on the mosquitos. He doesn't want me to worry about pesky mosquitos. He thinks of everything.  

Scene Four:

Then we talk. I can't help but thank Him for all the goodness in my life. When you start thanking God for all the good in your life, you realized how blessed you are. He loves hearing from my heart. No politically correct mumble jumble that sounds exceptionally holy and pious. No magic words that zaps me into heaven, just a belief and a relationship with God. 

Quiet Conversation.

A quiet conversation with a heavenly Father and his daughter.  It's not forced or critical. It is a calm conversation that floods you with peace from His love.  This Father who loves me for me. No fear, just love.  Deep breath, look up at the stars again and smile. This is the God I serve. I start to apologize and explain my short comings with my head bent low, then He gently touches my hand and smiles.  His loves warms my heart and his peace glows over me like the campfire. Quiet times are when I can hear Him speak to me the most. 

He didn't come to the campfire  bringing gifts, or compliments of my cute little camping outfit.  He came and gave me Himself.  His time and love is worth more than any earthly possession possible.

Curtain Closes:

It's not a religion.  It's not a neat check off list of what to do and what not to do.  It's not a performance of a lifetime. It's not a bumpersticker, bible toting, dogmatic legalistic way of life.  It's a campfire relationship with God and you. He knows your heart.

I use to cringe at the thought of camping and campfires, but now... I long for them........

Crazy little thing called LOVE..

Some days my heart is so full of love that I think I will surely burst!!
Then..... there are "those" days... I'm pretty sure my "love tank has a leak, and it is nearly dehydrated" 
Rusty
Dusty
Dirt
Dried Up
Evaporated  (and basically any other word from Webster Thesaurus of words to chose from)
Love is not always easy. 
No lie. 
No joke. 
We've all met people that try their darnedest to NOT be lovable. I mean, what the heck? Why would you want to be unloveable? Who doesn't love a fuzzy puppy? A smile from a friend? A smile from a stranger? The smell of a freshly bathed baby? The hug from a child, who just loves giving hugs away for free. No strings attached? 

We were made to crave love.  God is LOVE. We were made by Him.  Simple.  Easy-peasy right? Ya think?

If only it were that simple easy-peasy, life would be all sunshine, no sunburn. Chocolate, no calories, spring, no sneezing, ocean, no sand in your pants chaffing the hide off your.. well, you get the picture.  

I just happened on a verse that was so familiar to me, I read through it very quickly and followed with... yeah, yeah, yeah,  I know... the love chapter... ok... I know this one... I did, after all MEMORIZE  this verse in college for a New Testament class. 1 Cor. 13:1-13  It's a long chapter.  Just sayin' .

Back then, it was just "words" to memorize for a test.  A pretty hard test at that. Our professor  took points off for comma's not being in the correct place. Did you put a semi-colon or a period?(at 18, I thought the world was made up of unjust professors with nit picky rules) Now, I look back and think; suck it up and get over yourself. I was so hung up on my lack of punctuation skills, I made the words, just words in-between punctuation.  My result.... I think I made a C on the test. Geez. This should have been my first clue, that I was clueless on the "real" meaning of LOVE.

This morning I wrote this verse in my journal. I tried to be very meticulous about my commas and periods. Then I stopped.  
Looked again. And wrote down the verses without a thought or a care in the world about punctuation. 
I LOOKED at the words... 

I love the NCV version of the bible.  
1 Cor. 13:4-5

4.Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag and it's not proud.  5.Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done.
( that was just verse 4 & 5, and my freshly manicured toes are smashed.)

That my friend, is two verses of what Love is not and what Love is.  It's an eye opening  sharp reminder that it is NOT about us.

I'm sure you can think of several people who proclaim to be christians, and do not resemble anything of verses 4 & 5.  Me too.  
But, that's not my job.  
My job, is to look at Suzanne.  Because, I fail miserably at many of those.  I am thankful beyond belief that God's grace and mercy covers me completely!  

"Loving others" should never be about how much love they show me first or in return.  

Love is about serving folks. 
How can I make your day better? 
Do you need help with that?
Count to 10 before reacting. Really, count to 10, maybe 20.
Let me take your buggy back to the store for you.
Pay it forward in line at the Chick-fila.
Complement someone today. 
Smile. (it doesn't cost a thing)
Say the magic word- Thank You. (also free)
Give things you thought about returning to the store to someone who might need it.
Mow a yard
Loan things that you never expect to get back. It's okay. It's just stuff.
Pat a back,
Send a note of appreciation, encouragement or thanks for just being "real" to someone.  Like a real honest to goodness note.  Paper and a pen. Envelope with an actual stamp. It shows you went the extra mile on the effort scale of life.
Say, I'm sorry.
Forgive someone.
Wave at the "Jesus" man standing on the corner of Worth and Fayetteville.  It encourages him.  :-)
If someone drops something, PICK IT UP and give it to them.
Call you mom.  She loves to hear your voice.

Find ways to love and you will be filled to rim of your love tank!!
Plus, it makes you happy.  I like happy. :-)

Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!

Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!

I feel like Jan Brady stomping through the house, except Jonah's name is shouted out, not Marcia!

Side note:  I was insanely jealous of Jan and Marcia's long straight flowing hair. 

I had wavy hair with numerous cowlicks to tame.  

Just a confession.  (Squirrel ADD moment)

Lent

I feel like a heathen.  I'm 53 years old, and I don't recall ever practicing "Lent".  I've heard of people giving up things for Lent.  

Some give up chocolate, candy, soft drinks, bread, (if you ask me, these are all things to help them lose weight)  I personally didn't want to give up any of those things because, I rarely eat them anyways. It would be meaningless to me.)

Some people give up Facebook.  I thought about that one... nah.  I'm such a creature of habit I would mess that one up within the hour.  Then I would be a "Lent-failure"  That would be too much guilt for me. Don't need the guilt.  These things just weren't for me. (Not that they are wrong for you. Don't make me overly explain myself.) :-)

Then I had an epic idea... I decided to pray about it.  This can be a risky thing.  If you ask... He will answer. 

What if He ask you to "really" give up something that He has already asked you to give up MANY times before. 
Remember that time when you were listening like a toddler with your hands over your ears, shaking your head back and forth singing-lalalalalalalalala to the top of your lungs.  I mean, I've heard people do that...

Before I even got the words out of my mouth, before they were even fully formed in my mind... it came to me.  Bam! 

I got distracted by a grand baby. Easily and timely done.  I'll pray again in a minute. (maybe I thought the wrong thing, and God didn't REALLY mean for me to give up "that".  I mean.. really... God... It's not food,it's not Facebook, it's not even shopping. Let's try again.)  I probably thought "that" because of a book I was reading.

Ok.. let's try again.

Seriously?
God, I can't do that.   
I mean, I can. I think. I'd rather give up shopping. Can't we negotiate this?
What?  
I know, I was the one who asked.

I am giving up.. I am attempting to give up, I will try to give up... You have NO idea how hard this is for me to type.  I don't take this lightly.  I know its an issue.

Perfectionism.  there I typed it.  My heart raced, tears formed, and fear crept in.  Fear is from satan. Leave please.  I even left the "t" in the word "there" in the lower case form.  That is driving me crazy.  Maybe I told you I left that as an error, so that you would know I'm taking this serious.  I can still see it.
(look away)

Trying to be perfect is a problem.  It's something I and you for that fact, will never achieve. It leaves us feeling like constant failures. Very defeated at best. It worries the life out of me sometimes.

Being the list maker that I am (THANK YOU GOD for not asking me to give up my LIST!! That would have been the death of me!!) So,I made a list of things I try and fail to be perfect in.  This is a bit personal for me to just lay out here, I'm more private than this.  But, here it goes.
Deep breath. Ok.. maybe one more deep breath.  I hear breathing is good.

1. To be the perfect wife.  Don't laugh.  I could make an extremely long list of all the things I have done wrong as a wife (I'll spare you that list) We see all the perfect lives on FB and at church and we think:  They are the perfect couple.  Awe.  Maybe you thought that about us. Wait, a min.  I will continue typing when I quit laughing. I do have a filter, and I don't splash my FB page with drama and pics of us when we are at our worst. Everyone has a worst day.  I don't want to see yours and I'm not gonna show you mine.  No one has time for that. 
Back to my list.  I want to be 100% supportive of my husband. I've said "I'm sorry" more than I've said,"good job, sweetie" I am a wife in progress. Maybe in the next 34 years I might come closer to perfection. Marriage is a lot of work, prayer, love, laughter and forgiveness. It's okay to say, I'm sorry sweetie, and I love you in the same sentence. 

2. Trying to keep my house clean. (I have a dog who sheds enough hair to sweep up three dogs every single day.) Dust that leaves all my neighbors homes to come and party at my house.  We must be popular and don't know it. It's okay for my house be dirty occasionally. We do live in it. So, does Gracie.
  
3.Laundry. I want all laundry done and smelling downy fresh by the time they have been removed from the human body and the clock strikes midnight. It's okay for clothes to NOT smell like downy and sit in the laundry basket. Right? yes..

4.  Meals. Healthy perfect home cooked meals. Good grief.  That makes me crazy just typing it. Its okay to fix regular ol meals even when they don't taste so great.

5.  Look my best.  Make up on, clothes match, hair in place, do I look fat? It's okay to be natural. Lord help me to be okay with that.

6. Time management. More time with God, Family Me time, Serving others, then there are the things from the list 1-5. It's okay to not get everything on my list done today. I can't do it all, all of the time.

7. Don't complain.  I want to be a positive person. It's not always easy.  Some "things" and some "people" make you think negative thoughts. It is what it is. It's okay to whine sometimes. Just don't make a habit out of it.. okay? Encourage someone today!! It will make you feel better, and them too!

8. Run Without Stopping. I run because it's something I can do with my husband.It makes me healthier. It gives me the feeling of an accomplishment. I loved the thrill I had when I ran my half-marathon. I was shocked!  I want to run the distance I set out to run without stopping. It's okay to have good run days and not so good run days. Just running some is better than watching someone run on TV. 

I have more... but I'm tired of typing. Since I'm working on not worrying about having things "perfect"  I'm not going to finish my list.

It's okay to NOT be perfect.

Progress 

not

Perfection

So, there ya go.  For Lent, I'm giving up the need to be perfect.

It should be fairly easy, since I'm not perfect.

Deep breath....

NOTE:  I put this up on day two of Lent.  :-/  
Happens.

Positive Steps..... Forward and Beyond!!

Positive Steps I can take to live a Healthier Life

(sounds like a Self-Help book in the Bargain bin at Wal-Mart.)

I don't think anyone sets out to live an unhealthy life.  Mentally or Physically.  It's not like  we wake up one day and we are overweight, lazy, negative, judgmental  and downright snippy-ugly-unfun to be around type people 

I'm pretty sure... it's a step by step process.  You know, like mold.  Mold doesn't just happen.  It has to have all right elements in place.  Then voila ~  You have green fuzzy stuff growing on your bread.  And, I don't buy that phrase,"well, it's okay, you can eat it... just think of it as your homegrown Penicillin."  That's just wrong on so many levels.  Who really does that?  My throat hurts, I think  I'll eat some mold...says NO one ever!  (off the point)

I want...... I want to be a lot of things... I want to change my hair, my attitude, my body shape, my smile, (that joker is crooked in nearly all my pics).... I want...I want....I want...to be content....I want someone to say Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo and it's done.. Whew!  That was easy.

This is that moment, when you realize the chick in the white fluffy flowing fairy godmother get up, is just one big animation illusion that will never happen. That is just messed up.

Since I am the over the top "List" maker... I made a list (actually, I made the list during church.  I was listening, and it somewhat pertained to what was being said.  Let's just call it divine words from above, telling me to "write".  Or it could be just a touch of ADD, that said... "squirrel"  Write something down.)

Regardless, this was what I came up with. Now, this is my list.  Not yours.  Don't take my list.  You can read my list, and even make wrinkled up nose-looks at my list.  You may even delete me.. and I'm good with all that.  I'm just saying everyone has a different list.  So, don't make my list to fit your life.  We are so seriously different.  

I am responsible for what I eat and drink. Ouch.. Okay... that first one hurt.

* Lord, help me make healthy choices. Let the sugar and desserts pass by me with no attempt to hijack those bad boys and munch them down in seconds flat. That visual is never pretty.  Okay.. now, I know I have said in the past.. like.. two days ago... that if you eat TWO Krispy Kream Donuts while they are HOT, and why would you eat them any other way.... they will melt so quickly, I'm convinced they mesh into one combined calorie. This is a false statement. Sue me. It has worked for me in my own little justifiable brain for years. 

I am responsible for my choice of friends.

Lord, help me to surround myself with people who will encourage and lift me up toward You. The type of friends that will be honest with me when I am out of line and if I have lip stick on my teeth. A true friend will hug you even when you are seriously flawed and also tell you that "yellow" is not your color.

I am responsible for my thoughts. 

Lord, help me to keep my thoughts positive and pure.  It's easy to be judgmental to others in my own little mind.  It's still wrong.  I'm not perfect.  Far from it. So if I delete you from Facebook, don't get mad.  I'm just trying to curve my judgmental view of you. Just being honest. Help me Lord, to turn every negative comment into a positive Pollyanna type outcome.  You can always think of something to be Glad about.  Right now, I'm pretty glad that only my family a few friends who are bored out of their minds will read this blog.

I am responsible for my laughter.

Lord, I love to laugh. I laugh too loud, and sometimes when I shouldn't.  But how I love to laugh!! Help me to laugh at myself and not get down when I do something stupid. Help me to find happiness in YOU and not in present situations.  Life can be hard.  Just typing that made me frown. But, it's true.  Life can be hard, but Laughing can make a ray of sun shine through your ugliest moments.Carol Burnett use to make me laugh till my sides hurt.  Harvey Corman and Tim Conway, it just doesn't get any better than that. That was just a public service announcement.  

I am responsible for my time with God.

Lord, help me set time aside to read Your Word. Not to read as a "check" in my check off list... but to read, as building our relationship closer.  I talk to You all the time.  I know, I ramble a good bit. But, You are my best friend. Thank you for always being there to encourage and hug on me.

I am responsible for what I say.

Lord, I didn't like typing that one.  Just sayin'. Help me to guard my mouth.  To think before I speak.I want what comes out of my mouth to always be positive and uplifting.  It's not.  I tend to say what I think.  Note: that's why "I am responsible for my thoughts" is up above. What you think-th, is what you say-th.  That was written in King James-th.

Lord, just bring it to my attention when I say things I shouldn't and to apologies when I should, and stay quiet most of the times in-between.

If you stuck through this LONG blog.. I applaud you and I even feel like I should buy you a coffee next time I see you. 

Here's to 2016 and a healthier and more positive me!!