Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!

Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!

I feel like Jan Brady stomping through the house, except Jonah's name is shouted out, not Marcia!

Side note:  I was insanely jealous of Jan and Marcia's long straight flowing hair. 

I had wavy hair with numerous cowlicks to tame.  

Just a confession.  (Squirrel ADD moment)

Lent

I feel like a heathen.  I'm 53 years old, and I don't recall ever practicing "Lent".  I've heard of people giving up things for Lent.  

Some give up chocolate, candy, soft drinks, bread, (if you ask me, these are all things to help them lose weight)  I personally didn't want to give up any of those things because, I rarely eat them anyways. It would be meaningless to me.)

Some people give up Facebook.  I thought about that one... nah.  I'm such a creature of habit I would mess that one up within the hour.  Then I would be a "Lent-failure"  That would be too much guilt for me. Don't need the guilt.  These things just weren't for me. (Not that they are wrong for you. Don't make me overly explain myself.) :-)

Then I had an epic idea... I decided to pray about it.  This can be a risky thing.  If you ask... He will answer. 

What if He ask you to "really" give up something that He has already asked you to give up MANY times before. 
Remember that time when you were listening like a toddler with your hands over your ears, shaking your head back and forth singing-lalalalalalalalala to the top of your lungs.  I mean, I've heard people do that...

Before I even got the words out of my mouth, before they were even fully formed in my mind... it came to me.  Bam! 

I got distracted by a grand baby. Easily and timely done.  I'll pray again in a minute. (maybe I thought the wrong thing, and God didn't REALLY mean for me to give up "that".  I mean.. really... God... It's not food,it's not Facebook, it's not even shopping. Let's try again.)  I probably thought "that" because of a book I was reading.

Ok.. let's try again.

Seriously?
God, I can't do that.   
I mean, I can. I think. I'd rather give up shopping. Can't we negotiate this?
What?  
I know, I was the one who asked.

I am giving up.. I am attempting to give up, I will try to give up... You have NO idea how hard this is for me to type.  I don't take this lightly.  I know its an issue.

Perfectionism.  there I typed it.  My heart raced, tears formed, and fear crept in.  Fear is from satan. Leave please.  I even left the "t" in the word "there" in the lower case form.  That is driving me crazy.  Maybe I told you I left that as an error, so that you would know I'm taking this serious.  I can still see it.
(look away)

Trying to be perfect is a problem.  It's something I and you for that fact, will never achieve. It leaves us feeling like constant failures. Very defeated at best. It worries the life out of me sometimes.

Being the list maker that I am (THANK YOU GOD for not asking me to give up my LIST!! That would have been the death of me!!) So,I made a list of things I try and fail to be perfect in.  This is a bit personal for me to just lay out here, I'm more private than this.  But, here it goes.
Deep breath. Ok.. maybe one more deep breath.  I hear breathing is good.

1. To be the perfect wife.  Don't laugh.  I could make an extremely long list of all the things I have done wrong as a wife (I'll spare you that list) We see all the perfect lives on FB and at church and we think:  They are the perfect couple.  Awe.  Maybe you thought that about us. Wait, a min.  I will continue typing when I quit laughing. I do have a filter, and I don't splash my FB page with drama and pics of us when we are at our worst. Everyone has a worst day.  I don't want to see yours and I'm not gonna show you mine.  No one has time for that. 
Back to my list.  I want to be 100% supportive of my husband. I've said "I'm sorry" more than I've said,"good job, sweetie" I am a wife in progress. Maybe in the next 34 years I might come closer to perfection. Marriage is a lot of work, prayer, love, laughter and forgiveness. It's okay to say, I'm sorry sweetie, and I love you in the same sentence. 

2. Trying to keep my house clean. (I have a dog who sheds enough hair to sweep up three dogs every single day.) Dust that leaves all my neighbors homes to come and party at my house.  We must be popular and don't know it. It's okay for my house be dirty occasionally. We do live in it. So, does Gracie.
  
3.Laundry. I want all laundry done and smelling downy fresh by the time they have been removed from the human body and the clock strikes midnight. It's okay for clothes to NOT smell like downy and sit in the laundry basket. Right? yes..

4.  Meals. Healthy perfect home cooked meals. Good grief.  That makes me crazy just typing it. Its okay to fix regular ol meals even when they don't taste so great.

5.  Look my best.  Make up on, clothes match, hair in place, do I look fat? It's okay to be natural. Lord help me to be okay with that.

6. Time management. More time with God, Family Me time, Serving others, then there are the things from the list 1-5. It's okay to not get everything on my list done today. I can't do it all, all of the time.

7. Don't complain.  I want to be a positive person. It's not always easy.  Some "things" and some "people" make you think negative thoughts. It is what it is. It's okay to whine sometimes. Just don't make a habit out of it.. okay? Encourage someone today!! It will make you feel better, and them too!

8. Run Without Stopping. I run because it's something I can do with my husband.It makes me healthier. It gives me the feeling of an accomplishment. I loved the thrill I had when I ran my half-marathon. I was shocked!  I want to run the distance I set out to run without stopping. It's okay to have good run days and not so good run days. Just running some is better than watching someone run on TV. 

I have more... but I'm tired of typing. Since I'm working on not worrying about having things "perfect"  I'm not going to finish my list.

It's okay to NOT be perfect.

Progress 

not

Perfection

So, there ya go.  For Lent, I'm giving up the need to be perfect.

It should be fairly easy, since I'm not perfect.

Deep breath....

NOTE:  I put this up on day two of Lent.  :-/  
Happens.